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Getting My Life Together: How to Eliminate/Negotiate/Delegate at Home

6/28/2016

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If you have ever attended one of my “Work/Life Balance” workshops, you are familiar with the strategy that I call Eliminate/Negotiate/Delegate.  In case you have never attended one of my workshops, I outline the strategy below.
 
I encourage each workshop participant to identify an area in his/her life that s/he is trying to get things done to be more organized and achieve more balance (for example, at home or at work) and then we walk through the Eliminate/Negotiate/Delegate strategy.
 
Follow these steps for the Eliminate/Negotiate/Delegate strategy to begin getting your life together and feeling more balanced at home.
 
Step One.  Figure out what you are doing and what needs to be done.
  1. Write down the roles you play at home.
  2. Write down your duties, chores, or responsibilities at home.
  3. Write down the things that need to be done but are falling through the cracks at home.
  4. How you feel about everything on this list?  What does it bring up for you?
  5. Go through your list and determine what you can Eliminate/Negotiate/Delegate using the following steps.

Step Two.  ELIMINATE
  1. ELIMINATE:  to completely remove or get rid of something, exclude from consideration or further participation.
  2. Review your list and think about what items can be eliminated (i.e., you just stop doing them and realize that the world will keep turning and your quality of life might actually improve significantly).
  3. What are your strategies for determining what to eliminate?
 
Step Three. NEGOTIATE
  1. NEGOTIATE: to try to reach an agreement to compromise by discussion with others, to find a way over or through an obstacle, to transfer over to another person.
  2. Think about what items can be negotiated with others.  If you live alone, there is not anyone to negotiate with so you can skip to step four below.  But if you live with a roommate, partner, child, and/or parent who can contribute to the function of the home and is not, then it is time to have a frank discussion about this.  The objective of the discussion is to negotiate a redistribution of the responsibilities at home in a fair and equitable way.
  3. What are your strategies for determining what to negotiate?
 
Step Four.  DELEGATE
  1. DELEGATE: to entrust to another person, to send or authorize someone to do something as a representative.
  2. Think about what home services can be delegated or contracted out by paying someone else to do it (e.g., cooking, house cleaning, laundry, grocery shopping, lawn care, snow removal, babysitting - the possibilities are endless!)
  3. What are your strategies for determining what to delegate?
 
Once you have determined what you can Eliminate/Negotiate/Delegate at home, your original list from Step One above should be a bit more manageable.  If not, consider what is keeping you from letting go of some of these to do items.  For example, do you actually really like being super busy, spread too thin, and stressed out all the time?  Are you afraid of being rejected if you stop trying to be all things to all people?  Do you enjoy the sense of control you feel by doing everything at home (everyone has to come through you to get anything)?  No judgment here - just some things to think about.
 
Reminder: 100 complimentary 15-minute "Insight-Sessions."
 
This summer season I am offering 100 complimentary 15-minute "Insight-Sessions." (There are about 80 out of 100 remaining).  The 15-minute Insight-Session is designed to offer you 15 uninterrupted minutes to gain greater insight into your (self-identified) BIGGEST challenge and PRIMARY goal.  (My signature areas of specialization have been work, life, wellness, balance, and bliss.  We can focus on one of these areas or you are welcome to identify another topic or concern.)
 
Schedule your FREE 15 minute "Insight-Session" here: 
https://kathryntginesphd.acuityscheduling.com/
 
Here is what one person said about her 15-Minute “Insight Session”:
 
"Thanks so much for meeting with me today. I’m still a little surprised by the fact that we mapped out—in 15 minutes—a plan for me to complete these pressing, important goals over the summer. Thanks for emphasizing self-care; I have to constantly remind myself that this journey is not worth it if I’m not taking care of myself. I’m now looking forward to my deserved day of rest and pedicure before tackling the “action” items and timeline—which feel very doable now." - SM
 
Schedule your FREE 15 minute "Insight-Session" here: 
https://kathryntginesphd.acuityscheduling.com/
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    Author

    Kathryn Sophia Belle, Ph.D.
    (formerly Kathryn T. Gines)

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